98 days to go

98 days or 14 weeks sounds like a lot of time. but, i think i'm starting to panic. ahhhhhh we are having another baby, ahhhhhhhhh. I'm not even close to being ready. there are so many other things that i have to finish up before this baby gets here. like finish fixing up our townhome so we can put it on the market. (i'm just tired thinking about it) plus i don't have any of the baby stuff out of storage and there are still many things that I need to purchase. 26 weeks today and i'm growing more uncomfortable. i've really only had about 5 good weeks during this whole pregnancy. my pregnancy with madison was SO different, it was GREAT up until the last month. i was so focused on my first pregnancy and this one i seem to just be surviving, on a daily basis. At least my surgery went well and i've gained back all the weight that i lost during that 6 or 8 weeks i didn't eat very much. food has never tasted better. :) even though i as stressed, not sleeping, over worked (and under paid, isn't that what they say), i am so excited about bringing baby ...... (oh yeah i can't tell you her name, it's a surprise) home. madison is also getting excited. she loves it when i read her "mom's having a baby". i think she can read it by herself now. she love to touch, talk to and kiss my belly. she says funny things like "she just kicked me" or "her feet stink" (that one always makes me laugh). i can't believe that madison is 3 1/2 and that we are REALLY having a second baby. I couldn't be happier. i just pray that everything goes well over the next 14 weeks and that my delivery goes better then the first. (my aunt and most of the world think i'm crazy for having a natural birth, AGAIN) Marty, i'm going to try really hard this time not to scare the other women. hehe

the only thing that I'm missing is my mom. i wish that she were here, and that madi and baby would know their nana. I just hope that she would be proud of me and my growing family. As october approaches i can feel it in the air, i know it's that time just by the way it smells. it's hard to believe that it will be 8 years. i get through the days better then i use to, but i still think about her and wonder what she would say about my curly blond haired, blue eyed little girl. i can hear her saying "one day you'll have one just like you" and I do, she may not look like me but she is every bit ME. Now that i'm a mother the hardest thing is not having her here to call and ask advice or just complain because madison is driving me crazy. I can hear her voice and i think i have a pretty good idea of what she would say. well apparently i've had a sappy night. i guess i just needed a good cry.