My Dear!!

8 years ago today vic and i said 'I Do' and it was an amazing day!!
i need to revisit "our life" but if you haven't read it yet please do.

May 19, 2002

this year vic and i decided not to do anything special b/c have everything we need and it's just important to celebrate US!! but my wonderful husband surprised me tonight with an anniversary card. and since Vic is a man of few words it means a lot to me when he gets me a card because i know it took him a long time to find something that truly expresses how he feels.  So i couldn't help but share it with you (although i don't know who YOU is, cause i only know one person that reads my blog. LOL)

For My Wife
on our anniversary

I wonder if you really know
what a wonderful woman you are.
I've told you far less
often than I should.
It's hard to find the words to say
all the things
you deserve to hear-
if I could say them perfectly, I would.

I'd tell you just how much it means
to be given the gift of your love
and how that love has changed me for the better.
I'd say it takes a wife like you
to reveal the soul of a man-
if he could open up enough to let her.

It may be that there are no words
to thank you for all that you've done
to support me and create the life we share....
But should you ever feel unsure
of the love I have for you,
just look into my eyes.
You'll find it there.

I Love You Baby!!
                
                  Love,
                        Vic

Mother's Day 2010

usually mother's day is awful for me! i almost dread mother's day and i usually ruin them most of the time.  this has been my 10th mother's day without my mother.  usually every holiday or big event is ruined because i dread the day, and if it isn't perfect that makes it worse.  but this year was different, i have a different out look, i'm in a better place... and i wasn't going to let anyone or anything ruin this day for me.  it was by far the best mother's day i've had (since i've only had 6). this year was different for one reason, i didn't dwell on the fact that my mother isn't here.  for the last 10 years i spend spent every holiday sad, wishing my mother was here. but this year i really believe that i have let go, i have let go of the guilt, anger, selfishness, and most of all i feel healed.  i can't change the past... i live for today!  ever since my mom died i've always said "sweat the small things because life is too short" but honestly i haven't.. i have never really been healed until now!  some might say it's the antidepressant i'm taking.. but i've been on those before and they've never made me feel like this.  happy, truly happy.  i have been saved by the grace of God.  i have finally let her go and i can breath again.  don't get me wrong, i love my mother and i still miss her, but i have two beautiful girls that need me and my sadness has been in the way for far too long.  so mother's day was awesome! just my girls and my wonderful husband!  what more could a girl ask for?

"God created me from the inside out"

Pastor Steven spoke about insecurity today at church... for mother's day!  He was specifically speaking to women and how we always worry about the outside instead of what really matters. Pastor Steven read from Psalms 139 today and this is what was said...

from The Message

Psalm 139 13-16

13. Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb.  

14. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what creation! 

15. You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

16. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The day of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.


so... God created 'Me' from the inside out.  The one thing that was said that drove home to me was "how you feel about you is a direct reflection on him."  That is such a powerful statement.  God put us together for a PURPOSE!! and although i may not know what that is right now, i know he has one for me and i am looking forward to the day that i realize his plan in my life.

I am a work of GOD!!

I have had an interesting life so far.. a LOT of ups and downs.  but for the first time in my life i feel whole and i get up in the morning looking forward to what is in store. even though it will be the usual.  get madison ready for school, feed emma, take a nap, lunch, pick up madison, be an entertainer to my kids, a chef for my family, the accountant, the house keeper and some days i feel like a slave. but I know that someday there will come a time that God will put something or someone in front of me!!  And who knows maybe i am already fulfilling my purpose.. to be a Godly wife and mother and to teach them about Him! and until i know other wise that is my job.  and i know that i have days that i fail badly, but I promise to pray and pick my self up and start again b/c Jesus died for ME!! for you and for all of us.  Pastor Steven spoke to me today and through him, God's message was it doesn't matter whats on the outside it only matters what's in my heart! and WITHOUT GOD I AM NOTHING! 

Ephesians 2:10

No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

i am grateful for the work that He is doing in my heart!

and this is the cute little gift from the church for Mother's Day. It says "enjoy these artisan hand-painted chocolates from elevation church"  the blue one is my favorite and it's so pretty that i can't bring myself to eat it... well maybe tomorrow :)

I love this little card that was at the bottom of the box!!



Happy Mother's Day